ovo su stvarne upute s stvarnih proizvoda:

In case you needed further proof that the Human Race is doomed

through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on

consumer products:

1. On a blanket from Taiwan - 

NOT TO BE USED AS PROTECTION FROM A TORNADO. 

2. On a helmet mounted mirror used by US cyclists - 

REMEMBER, OBJECTS IN THE MIRROR ARE ACTUALLY   BEHIND YOU. 

3. On a Taiwanese shampoo - 

USE REPEATEDLY FOR SEVERE DAMAGE. 

4. On the bottle-top of a (UK) flavoured milk drink - 

AFTER OPENING, KEEP UPRIGHT. 

5. On a New Zealand insect spray - 

THIS PRODUCT NOT TESTED ON ANIMALS. 

6. In a US guide to setting up a new computer - 

TO AVOID CONDENSATION FORMING, ALLOW THE BOXES TO WARM UP TO

ROOM TEMPERATURE 

BEFORE OPENING. 

(Sensible, but the instruction was INSIDE the box.) 

7. On a Japanese product used to relieve painful hemorrhoids - 

LIE DOWN ON BED AND INSERT POSCOOL SLOWLY UP TO THE PROJECTED

PORTION LIKE 

A SWORD-GUARD INTO ANAL DUCT. WHILE INSERTING POSCOOL FOR

APPROXIMATELY  5 

MINUTES, KEEP QUIET. 

8. In some countries, on the bottom of Coke bottles - 

OPEN OTHER END. 

9. On a packet of Sunmaid raisins - 

WHY NOT TRY TOSSING OVER YOUR FAVOURITE BREAKFAST CEREAL? 

10. On a Sears hairdryer - 

DO NOT USE WHILE SLEEPING. 

11. On a bag of Fritos - 

YOU COULD BE A WINNER! NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. DETAILS INSIDE. 

(The shoplifter special!) 

12. On a bar of Dial soap - 

DIRECTIONS - USE LIKE REGULAR SOAP. 

(And that would be how?) 

13. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of the box) -

DO NOT  TURN UPSIDE DOWN. 

(Too late! You lose!) 

14. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding - 

PRODUCT WILL BE HOT AFTER HEATING. 

(Are you sure? Let's experiment.) 

15. On a Korean kitchen knife - 

WARNING: KEEP OUT OF CHILDREN. 

(Dammit! Who are they to tell me what to do with my kids?) 

16. On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights - 

FOR INDOOR OR OUTDOOR USE ONLY. 

(As opposed to use in outer space?) 

17. On a Japanese food processor - 

NOT TO BE USED FOR THE OTHER USE. 

(Now I'm curious.) 

18. On Sainsbury's peanuts - 

WARNING - CONTAINS NUTS. 

(Really? Peanuts contain nuts?) 

19. On an American Airlines packet of nuts 

INSTRUCTIONS - OPEN PACKET, EAT NUTS. 

(I'm glad they cleared that up.) 

20. On a Swedish chainsaw - 

DO NOT ATTEMPT TO STOP CHAIN WITH YOUR HANDS OR GENITALS. 

(What kind of consumer phone-call led to this warning?) 

21. On a child's superman costume - WEARING OF THIS GARMENT

DOES NOT 

ENABLE YOU TO FLY. 

(That's right, destroy a universal childhood fantasy!) 

22. On some frozen dinners: 

SERVING SUGGESTION: DEFROST. 

23. On a hotel provided shower cap in a box: 

FITS ONE HEAD. 

24. On packaging for a Rowenta iron: 

DO NOT IRON CLOTHES ON BODY. 

25. On Boot's "Children's" cough medicine: 

DO NOT DRIVE CAR OR OPERATE MACHINERY. 

26. On Nightly sleep aid: 

WARNING: MAY CAUSE DROWSINESS. 

(Duh!)